But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
