Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
