Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
