He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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