Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
