That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
