Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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