adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
