She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
