You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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