What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
