First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize