Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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