I love having hate sex.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
