would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
