So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize