ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
