hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
