using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
