just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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