She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
