planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
