This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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