i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
