Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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