It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
