mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
