she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
