She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
