maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think a kid would responsible me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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