so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
