I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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