dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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