Please, let me fuck your mom
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
