Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
