i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
