Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
