Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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