You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
