I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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