then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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