In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
