thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize