I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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