Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
