I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
