I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
