She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
