We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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