dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
