I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
