I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
