You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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