There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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