just tell him i said nine months
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
