Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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