last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
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Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
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I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think I just sharted jello shots
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