So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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