The maid of honor just puked.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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