well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
