This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
