It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
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I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
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Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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