Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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