I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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