Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
