Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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